Liike much of what I write, this article is addressed to me. It’s what I need to learn. If it helps you too, that’s awesome.
Jesus taught his disciples to pray. In Matthew’s gospel we read:
“And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.
“This, then, is how you should pray:
“‘Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name,
your kingdom come your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us today our daily bread.
And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one’” (Matthew 6:7-13).
I love that phrase, “do not keep on babbling like pagans.” It sticks in the brain, and it also makes the point: don’t recite a set prayer over and over again as a ritual, talk to God like a person (and “babbling like pagans” sounds like it could be the name of a band).
This passage is part of the sermon on the mount, and up to this point Jesus has been teaching his disciples to treat other people as people rather than as things. Now he’s saying the same thing about God. God is not a wish machine; he is our Father. We are to approach him as our Father, but also as our Lord, in the fullest sense of the word. We begin by seeking God’s glory, and the accomplishment of his will on Earth. Only then should we ask for the things that we need. And I can say from my own experience that if I put God’s kingdom first in my prayers, then when I get to the point of asking for what I need, I’ll be thinking in terms of specifically those things I need in order to do the work of the kingdom that God has given me to do.
Prayer is woven all through Scripture. The Apostle Paul wrote that we are to “pray continually” (1 Thessalonians 5:17) and “in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God” (Philippians 4:6). Jesus promised that the prayers of his disciples – a group that includes those of us today who are his disciples – would be heard and answered:
Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened (Matthew 7:7-8).
And yet, every one of us can testify that not everything we’ve ever prayed for has happened. And Scripture also tells us that this is sometimes the case:
When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures (James 4:3).
This verse, in fact, seems to be saying that I shouldn’t expect to get what I pray for if it’s only something I want for myself. But didn’t Jesus tell us we should pray for our daily bread (Matthew 6:11)? So what’s actually going on here?
As this verse in James suggests, one of the easiest ways to go wrong in prayer is to misunderstand what it’s for. And, in fact, I think this lack of understanding of the purpose of prayer is the biggest hindrance to a powerful prayer life. We should not pray in order to get what we want, but so that we can participate in accomplishing what God wants. In the words of the Apostle John:
This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us – whatever we ask – we know that we have what we asked of him (1 John 5:14-15).
God gave us the ministry of prayer so that we could submit our wills to his and in this way play a part in transforming this world into “the kingdom of our Lord and of his Messiah” (Revelation 11:15). It’s not about getting, it’s about serving.
Prayer is communication with our Father. And the most important topic we have to talk with him about is the building of his kingdom. This has to be a higher priority than our own needs. As Jesus points out, God already knows what we need. He knows better than we do. And he also already knows that we can’t do the works he has given us to do unless he also provides the means to do them.
Praying God’s Will
Be very careful, then, how you live – not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is (Ephesians 5:15-17).
So what does all this mean? Does praying for God’s kingdom just mean I should add “if it’s your will” before every sentence of my prayers? “God, if it’s your will, please heal my aunt, and if it’s your will, please help me find a job and if it’s your will…” etc. Well, no. The first problem with praying this way is that, if I actually look at what my heart is doing, adding “if it’s your will” is really just giving God an out, so it’s not his fault if (when) I don’t get what I’m praying for. This is not faith; it’s covering bases so I don’t have to take a risk. The second problem is that it’s doing things in the wrong order. Nowhere in Scripture are we told to come up with a list of things we want to pray for, and then cross our fingers and hope that some of them might also be God’s will. God’s will is not something to add on to my shopping list; it needs to be my first and highest priority.
I see a hand going up. What’s that? Didn’t Jesus pray, “if it’s your will?” Not exactly. In his prayer in Gethsemane (Matthew 26:36-42, Mark 14:32-36, Luke 22:41-44), Jesus knew what his Father’s will was. He prayed that there might be some way to accomplish it without having to die, but then declared his determination to do what the Father wanted, no matter the cost. The heart of his prayer wasn’t, “if it’s your will,” but rather “not as I will, but as you will.” This is sacrificial prayer. Hold on to this concept, because sometimes God calls us to pray sacrificially as well.
Praying for God’s will to be done doesn’t mean adding a phrase on to my shopping list and just hoping that I guessed right, it means taking the time to find out what God’s will is before I begin praying. That’s the real trick, somebody is saying right now. Yes, but it’s not a very hard trick. It turns out the Holy Spirit has given us a book to help us figure out what God’s will is. I can testify from my own experience that the more I study God’s word, the easier it is to know how to pray God’s will. Now, I certainly don’t understand everything in the Bible, and I probably never will. I’m also pretty sure I’m not right about everything that I think I do understand, and that probably won’t ever be perfect either. That’s okay; my Father knows I won’t get it right 100% of the time. But he does tell us to:
Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth (2 Timothy 2:15).
Do my best. Even if that’s a very long way from always getting it right.
And to get started, I’ve put together a list of some of the things that are definitely God’s will. You can start praying for these immediately, even as you continue to study the Scriptures. You can pray:
That you will stay free of sexual immorality (1 Thessalonians 4:3).
That, whatever your circumstances, you will have an attitude of thankfulness (1 Thessalonians 5:18).
That you will be able to forgive every person who hurts you (Colossians 3:13).
That you will respond with kindness to those who are unkind to you (Romans 12:17).
That you will find a way to serve those people you just don’t get along with (Romans 12:18).
That we would live peacefully under a just government (1 Timothy 2:1-2).
That the entire church will be one, just as Jesus and the Father are one (John 17:20-21).
That God’s kingdom will be manifested over the entire world (Matthew 6:10).
Husbands, you should ask God to help you sacrifice your own needs for your wife’s (Ephesians 5:25).
Wives, ask God to increase your respect for your husband (Ephesians 5:23).
Children, ask God to help you be more obedient to your parents (Ephesians 6:1).
Is this the list you would have come up with? Yeah, me neither. But that doesn’t matter, because praying for God’s will means praying according to his priorities. It’s about his kingdom, not my shopping list. And I’ve found that the more I pray for God’s priorities, the more they become my priorities as well. So pray those things for yourself. Pray them for the people around you. Pray them for me as well.
This is, I believe, the key to having a powerful prayer life. Ironically, it’s when I stop trying to make it about what I might get for myself and my family, and focus my attention instead on what I can do for God’s kingdom, that I get most excited about praying. Instead of spouting “if it’s your will,” I can boldly say, “please do this thing that you said you want to do.” And then wait, expectantly, for God to do what he promised, namely:
That if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us – whatever we ask – we know that we have what we asked of him (1 John 5:14-15).