In the spring of 1997 I received what I thought was a message from God. It said that I would soon be married to a girl I knew, whom I’ll call Lisa. But just a few months later, Lisa unexpectedly married a man that none of her friends even knew she’d been dating. And a short time after that, I very clearly heard the Holy Spirit tell me to pray for the success of their marriage. There’s no question in my mind that this second message really was from God – there was literally no part of me that wanted it. But under the circumstances, I had to conclude that the first message had been a mistake.
These events were part of a much longer and more complex story, which I’ve posted previously. At that time, and for the next several years, my life felt like a living hell. This wasn’t simply because of Lisa. There was a lot going on, but the hardest thing to deal with was simply trying to understand what had happened. We’re told in God’s word to test everything (1 Thessalonians 5:20-21), and that’s exactly what I had done. I tested that message about Lisa with Scripture and in prayer. I got counsel from other believers whose wisdom I trusted. In short, I tested it every way I could. For almost thirty years since then, continuing even after God healed and restored my heart, I have wondered what else I could have done. How could I have gotten it so wrong? And how can I make sure I don’t mishear God again? That matters because, how can I risk acting on what I think I’ve heard if I can’t be sure I heard correctly? It was about two weeks ago that I finally understood.
As I said, the mistake about Lisa was only part of a much bigger story. I went through a period of several years in the late 90s in which every trace of God’s goodness appeared to vanish. It felt like I died over and over again, but in hindsight I can see now that God used my struggles to build strengths in me that I could never have anticipated. Looking back almost thirty years later, I see the truth of Romans 8:28:
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
That’s the point I needed to see. I am fallible, but he is not. Testing what I think I’m hearing from God is crucial, but there is no method of testing that will entirely eliminate the possibility of error. My insight from two weeks ago is that there doesn’t need to be. My confidence is not that I will always hear right, but that God will always do right. Even when I make mistakes.
Again, testing is crucial. Please don’t go away thinking that I said you should do whatever you think the Holy Spirit is saying without testing it first. The Bible says, “do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God” (1 John 4:1). Check everything against the Scriptures. Offer it back to God in prayer. Get advice from wise brothers and sisters. But when you’ve done all that, recognize that the Holy Spirit has been guiding imperfect, fallible humans for a very long time now. He knows what he’s doing, and our mistakes will not derail his plans.
The answer for me, then, is to take my eyes off of myself and my ability to correctly hear what the Holy Spirit is saying. I don’t have to get it perfect; I only need to do my best, because even if I am, ultimately, mistaken, God will still manage to do exactly what needs to be done. Every time, without fail. All I bring is my willingness to obey; the perfection is his responsibility. Even when things don’t work out the way I thought they would.