Memory. Part of remembering who I am has to be remembering who I was, and remembering as well who changed me. The apostle Paul wrote to his former disciple Timothy:
Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners – of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his immense patience as an example for those who would believe in him and receive eternal life (1 Timothy 1:15-16).
It’s easy to see a parallel between this passage and the story of the sinful woman who anointed Jesus in Luke 7:36-50. Jesus said about that woman, “Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven – as her great love has shown. But whoever has been forgiven little loves little” (Luke 7:47). Equally, Paul’s commitment to Christ comes from an awareness of how much Christ had forgiven him.
How much have I been forgiven? How aware am I of the depth of God’s mercy? When I called on him for help the first time, back in 1983, I was his enemy. I did not understand that fact, but it was true nonetheless. I am alive today for only one reason, and that is that God spared me when I was his enemy, and he had every right to execute me as a traitor.
I won’t try to top Paul’s story, because that’s silly. I have more than enough sins of my own without needing to compare myself to anyone else. No, I didn’t murder Christians, but I was living in defiance of God. I wasn’t neutral, because there are no neutrals. If someone lives within the territory of a country but refuses to obey the law or acknowledge the sovereignty of the government, that person is not neutral; they are an enemy of that country, openly rebelling against the lawful authority. In the same way, when I refused to obey God or acknowledge his authority, all the while living in the world he had created, eating the food, drinking the water and breathing the air he had created, I was his enemy, openly rebelling against him. At the time I may not have completely understand what I was doing, but I knew very well that I was not obeying God.
But instead of executing me as a rebel and a traitor, God had mercy on me. He spared my life. Much more than that, he forgave all my sins and adopted me as a son and an heir. I have been forgiven, and will never be condemned (Romans 8:1-4). My past no longer controls me. But my past is my testimony of God’s mercy. It’s only by remembering where I came from that I can see why the gospel is good news, not just in general, but specifically good news for me. And it’s only as I remember where I came from that I can even begin to understand, or to speak about, the extent of God’s love for me – how can I tell the story if I don’t remember it?
So remember who you are. Remember as well who you once were. Remember how God has had mercy on you because of Jesus. And tell the story of his forgiveness.