I have some friends in California, a wonderful couple that I’ve known for more than thirty years, whose ministry is helping Christians learn to rest. And as I look at the church today, I can see just how needed this ministry is.
Wherever you got to church, if you’ve been there for any length of time you can probably pretty easily divide the people there into two groups: those who seem to do too much in the way of ministry, and those who do too little. But if you start asking those who seem to be doing too little why they aren’t more involved, chances are that nearly every one of them will reply, “I don’t have time.” And they’re usually telling the truth. So the division is really between some people who are doing too much, and others who are also doing too much.
For those of you in the second group, I get it. You work all week long. The house needs to be maintained. You have chores to do, and errands to run. You help your children with their school work, and you drive them to their various activities, and you take time to just be with them because that’s part of what it means to be a good parent. You spend time with your wife or your husband, because that’s part of what it means to be a good spouse. Then you go to church, and somebody tries to guilt you into volunteering to help one in one or another of the ministries that needs workers. But you don’t have any time, or if you do, you’re already tired. You need to rest.
This is not the way it’s supposed to be. Jesus said:
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)
Most of us have read these words a thousand times. We read them, nod our heads, and keep reading. But what this passage should do is make us stop and take stock of what’s going on. It should make me realize that, anytime I’m pulling a hard yoke or carrying a heavy burden, Jesus says that that burden and that yoke are not from him.
Now, there’s a lot to unpack in that realization. Far too much to even skim over in an article like this one. So instead of trying to cover it all and failing, I want to focus on just one way that this works.
Coming Together
We’re not supposed to go through life alone. It’s not God’s intent that any of us be self-sufficient, but that we should need one another. We were created to be in relationship, not only with God, but with other human beings. It’s only together that we are the body of Christ (1 Corinthians 12:27). This means that I need to be interacting with other believers. We read in Hebrews:
And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another – and all the more as you see the Day approaching. (Hebrews 10:24-25).
This, then, is why we come together when we worship, and why watching the streaming video online is not an adequate substitute. Now, if it’s simply not practical for you to be there in person; if you’re bedridden, or don’t have transportation, or if you have a job (or a ministry) that you need to do, that video is absolutely a good thing. But it still doesn’t answer the need to have someone put their hand on your shoulder and pray with you, or simply tell you, sincerely, how happy they are to see you. So, yeah, part of Christ’s yoke for me really is for me to spend time around people who genuinely want to be with me. If you don’t think that’s both restful and healing, just talk to anyone who lives with a dog.
Someone will surely ask, “if meeting to encourage one another is such a great thing, why does God have to make it a command?” And make no mistake, Hebrews 10:24-25 is a command from God. It’s something we are told to do. The reason, I think, is because God knows just how lousy we are at doing what’s good for us. We’ve probably all had the experience of being pushed by a friend or a family member into doing something we really didn’t want to do, only to be glad afterward that we had done that thing, whatever it was. So it is here. Because of this command, I have a reason to put my shoes on and go out, instead of vegging out on the couch at home. And I have an excuse to take a break from whatever work I’m trudging through, and go have fun once in a while. God commands it, after all.
At the same time, I can’t help noticing that the passage doesn’t actually say, “consider how we may be spurred on by one another,” but “how we may spur one another on.” Nor does it say, “being encouraged by one another,” but “encouraging one another.” If we’re all doing it, then we’ll all be receiving the benefit, but the focus of the Scripture is on what I do to spur on and to encourage, not what I get out of what others do. I’m not there to be ministered to, but to be a minister. It’s in the process of encouraging others that I am encouraged. It’s by doing, not merely by watching, that I receive.
This passage in Hebrews, then, is speaking directly to me, as someone who lives in a culture of consumers and spectators. Pushing back against cultural values does not come automatically; it requires attention and effort. And on Sunday morning, in particular, it’s far too easy for me to convince myself that if I just sing a few songs and listen to the sermon without falling asleep, I’ve done my part. But my experience over the past forty years has been that if I’m not going to church to, in some way, bless others, then eventually I end up not going at all. This is probably also why I don’t do well in churches that are very big; it’s too easy for me to just e quiet and blend in.
Growing Into Service
No matter how old they get, your children never stop being your children. But if things are going the way they’re supposed to, your children do grow up. And your relationship with your children changes as they grow. This is expected, and completely normal.
The same thing is true of God’s children; they (which is to say we) are supposed to grow up too. When I was a new Christian, it was only to be expected that I didn’t understand much about what it meant to be a son of God, and that I wasn’t very consistent about putting into practice even the little bit that I did understand. But I’ve been a believer for more than four decades now. Something would be badly wrong if I hadn’t grown substantially in all that time. In fact, if you saw no growth in me over a long period of time, you’d be justified in wondering if I were alive at all.
Growing in Christ always means becoming more like Christ. As Jesus himself said, “the student is not above the teacher, but everyone who is fully trained will be like their teacher.” (Luke 6:40) It only makes sense, then, that over time my priorities and my reasons for gathering with my brothers and sisters will change so that, “just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve,” (Matthew 20:28) I too will will start to care more about how I can build others up.
Forty years ago, going to church, and to my Bible study group, and gathering with my new brothers and sisters for fellowship were things I did mostly for my own benefit. And there was nothing wrong with that. It was, in fact, what I needed. But that’s not my primary motive for doing those things today.
And that’s the real secret of fellowship. I did it, in the beginning, because it made me feel energized, and valued, and even loved. And over time, I started giving those things back as I realized that all the people who were energizing and valuing and loving me needed them as much as I do. God started using me to give rest to the very people that he was also using to give rest to me.
God gives us rest through the spiritual disciplines of solitude and silence, but he also gives it to us through fellowship with each other, and fellowship, interestingly enough, is also numbered among the spiritual disciplines. So spend time enjoying the company of your brothers and sisters. Hang out with somebody after church. Go out to lunch with another family, or better yet, invite them to your house for a barbecue. Men, get together with your brothers and women, with your sisters, and do something fun. And – don’t forget this part – whatever you do together, use the opportunity to show your brothers and sisters how much you value them, and to let them show you how much they value you. And enjoy the encouragement, and the rest, that they give you. God commands it.